Have you ever noticed that the word “silent” has the same letters as the word “listen?”
I have a friend who never says much. She waits to see what other people think on any given subject before she expresses an opinion—or says nothing. I think she loves the safety of keeping her own counsel and undoubtedly doesn’t want to alienate anyone. She is an occasional visitor to a coffee shop group I attend a couple of times a week at which the news of the day is often discussed, and when she is there, she is primarily a listener.
We are not alike. Everyone in our little group has a different story, a different life experience and very different points of view…yet we get along. We are careful with each other. Reading the conversations on “Nexdoor,” I am appalled at the hateful language directed at anyone who disagrees on anything from whether to remove honeysuckle bushes from the woods nearby, to commentaries on political issues, and who should wear masks and where. And heavens, don’t get them started on the Red Line!
People are acting out. They are frustrated and tired of the quarantine and other restrictions, I get it. But remember Galatians 5 where it warns that if we bite and devour each other, we may be devoured ourselves? Maybe my friend is quiet because she doesn’t want to be devoured. I’ve been there and it’s no fun. My wise nephew, who is kind of a political animal, never wastes time arguing a point. In recalling a conversation, he’ll often say, “I let my silence do the talking.”
Granted there is a lot to argue about in these hyper-political days. But maybe let’s let CNN and FOX News duke it out. You and I have a right to our opinions and that is what voting booths are for. What’s the purpose of proving our “rightness”? Being right is vastly overrated. Our family and friends are too valuable to fight with. Even President Lincoln, who had very strong views on many things said, “when I speak to someone, I spend two-thirds of the time thinking about what they want to hear and one-third speaking.”
If we care about one another, maybe we too should spend a little more time thinking about what others want to hear. What will encourage them? What will make them laugh? What will strengthen the bond you have with them? James 3 says we praise the Father and curse human beings with the same tongue. Clearly, we’re not supposed to do that. Have your opinions, stand for what is right. But words are containers for power. Use them kindly, wisely, and lovingly, or maybe not at all.
Silence takes work, at least for me. But what a reward,
Nancy
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