\The noted author and speaker Wayne Dyer used to tell the story about a man who dragged a heavy bag of dung around with him. Once in a while he’d reach in and smear some of it on his face so everyone could see it. Dyer said that man is us.
We each have a bag of what has been done to us, and what someone said to us, and how they didn’t treat us fairly, and how we didn’t deserve it. The bag is heavy. But sometimes others forget about all we’ve been through. So then we trot out the whole sorry tale (i.e. smearing it on our faces) and remind them about the damage that has been done to us so they know how wronged we have been…right?
Here’s the thing: It’s not dung in that bag. It is offense.
We live in a world of offense. We are offended by everything. Politics, bad drivers, loud talkers, jay walkers, relatives, and strangers who don’t wear their masks correctly, you name it. Try counting the times you can take offense in a day—you’ll be amazed. Big offenses little ones…they add up.
In fact, the word ‘offense’ comes from the Greek word ‘skandalon’ which is the hook in a trap that holds the bait. When we become offended, we have literally ‘taken the bait’. Meanwhile we have been drawn into crabbiness and unforgiveness, and then we take that latest offense and add it to the bag.
An acquaintance of mine is so offended if people have their masks incorrectly positioned we have seen her go up to strangers in a fury. She is a good person who has created an unhappy world for herself because she is mad pretty much all the time about a great number of things that offend her. Needless to say it’s not fun to be in her presence.
So, for your own mental health, drop the bag. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” I would add, it is to one’s sanity and peace to overlook offenses, to give people the benefit of the doubt and put a cork in the angry bottle.
When someone offends me (after I have my fleshly response in my head of course) I have learned to just look up. Something about knowing who’s in control gives me the strength to hold on to my peace and forget about it. It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it.
Don’t take the bait,
Nancy 🙂
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